Day 2 of the Tour...

It's day 2 of the tour and already my life has changed forever. Something has been given back to me. Something I used to have but strayed from for a very long time. All of the things I missed about my teenage years are now my everyday life. I'm touring the country in a school bus. I used to day dream of doing that when I was a teenager. And now here I am, with out even thinking about it or remembering that I once had that dream, here I am. I'm back in the woods! Sleeping under the stars every night. This is what has changed - already - forever: I will never give this up again. This is a scary feeling but also liberating. Scary because i have no idea what else I will be doing, what my life is going to look like. Liberating because I will never be stuck in the bump and grind EVER again. I can't believe I made it back here! I didn't expect this. How could I have forgotten that THIS is who I am. I am not an LA woman at all. I am a woman that loves to sleep under the stars. My senior quote keeps running through my head, "Sleep in the stars, don't you cry, dry your eyes on the wind." The girl that chose that quote (grateful dead) was a happy, grounded girl. She's back. Thank god! She's back. I feel like I went on a 10 year side trip in the shape of a circle. Maybe that's why at 30 I still feel 21. LA and the life I've lead even before that seem like an ancient memory, or a dream that never actually happened. I've just woken up. I'm still that young teenager that knows exactly what she wants. Who has an unshakable foundation of morality and hope. It seems like it would be impossible to ever be unhappy living like this. That's part of the freedom I feel. I will never have to play the game. I will never have to try and keep up with the crowd. I will never have to climb the latter of societal success. THIS is the way to live. At least for me.