As the sun started setting Kipchoge once again yelled for us to get our head lamps out because it was getting dark. I thought to myself "I wonder why he doesn't just use the dome light?" But I got it out anyway because basically you do whatever Kipchoge says to do. Once the sun had set Kipchoge finally enlightened us on HIS plan. We were to park the bus at the end of the pavement and ride the bikes down to the river valley. This came as a huge surprise to all of us. None of us expected to be riding. I was scared. First of all, why didn't he tell us earlier? Like maybe at any point in the 4 hour drive when there was sun light? I needed to go through all my things and pack a light travel bag. Jared told me that I didn't need anything. Just the sleeping bag and thermorest. Whatever! I managed to gather a few things: tooth brush, jacket, camera, chapstick, floss, etc. into my chico bag as Kipchoge told us the details of the ride. One mile uphill and five miles downhill on gravel road in the pitch black dark of night. The only kind of bike I've ever ridden is a beach cruiser and now THIS was to be my first experience riding a mountain bike? Luckily Kipchoge didn't pack my bike with too much stuff. Brock sat on the back of the bike so I could practice riding around with a load. I was floundering. It wasn't looking good.
Surprisingly I caught on quick though. We headed out up the hill and shortly I was feeling like I needed to get off my bike and walk. But that just wasn't acceptable. At one point someone called my name and I gladly stopped and waited for them. However, when it was time to ride again I couldn't get going up the hill without falling over. Jared had to push the bike for me to get going. I felt like I was nine again and my father was pushing me along, trying to teach me to ride with out training wheels (yes, it took me THAT long to learn how to ride a bike with out training wheels, shut up).
As I unknowingly neared the top of the hill I began to express to Jared and Kipchoge that I was definitely not going to make it to the top. Kipchoge told me that my gear was to high. I lowered it and lowered it and lowered it as far as I possibly could. As the burning in my legs got to the point where it was absolutely unbearable and just as I was about to hop off my bike the road flattened out. I was happy. Then started the downhill. I don't know if you've ever tried biking down a mountain on a gravel road with a loaded bike in the pitch black darkness but I definitely don't recommend it, especially as a training run.
As I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to survive this trip without gravel rocks stuck into every inch of my face and hands I hear Kipchoge exclaim, "Straight into the fire! For some reason this is how everyone's first ride is."
"Great. That's just great."
I was laying on the brakes pretty hard as Jared continually gave me pointers on how not to crash and burn. As we rounded a bend we heard the creepiest growl that I've ever experienced and saw huge eyes glowing. We saw an animal moving toward us . "Oh shit! It's huge. It's a mountain lion! It's going to tear us apart. "
As I was shitting my pants and squealing like a pig bitch, Jared took control of the situation. He stopped riding and put himself between the ferocious animal and I and yelled for me to pass on the outside. I made my run praying that the savage predator would go for Jared instead of me. Just kidding. But seriously, even in my moment of despair I made a mental note of Jared's chivalry. I rode as fast as I possibly could not wanting to look back and see my precious dear friend being torn apart by the mountain lion.
Suddenly I hear laughter. I look back and Mayo (my dog) comes running up wagging his tail. My new friend OBO had been assigned to walking my dog down the mountain because there weren't enough bikes. He thought it'd be funny to freak the new girl out. So the ferocious animal was none other than my sweet little innocent dog (unless you're a chicken - then he's not so sweet).
With death narrowly averted I continued the downward spiral of gravel rock mountain road. For a moment I was keeping up with the front two riders - Kipchoge (the leader of the pack) and Dante (crazy awesome know it all engineer bike mechanic can literally fix anything guy). Of course, in my newness I soon fell behind but took comfort in knowing that Jared and Brock were right behind me. Or were they?
"Wait a minute, I see nothing behind me... or in front of me. All I can see is the pitch black Sierra Nevada darkness that extends 3 ft beyond my shitty little head lamp. Oh god. I'm freakin out. Oh god, there's glowing eyes in the bushes. Oh god, how steep is that cliff I almost ran off of. HEYYYYYYYYYYYY!! WAIT!! Jared! Brock!! Kipchoge!! Hey!! Wait!!"
No one answered back. The bike floundered underneath me and thankfully I was able to jump off before it hit the ground. I picked the bike up and took a minute to look around. Surely if I stopped and REALLY looked around I'd see someone's lights ahead of or behind me.
"No. OH GOD. I'm all alone and it's fucking dark and scary out here. What the fuck was I thinking of coming on this tour. I wish I were in LA. I want to go home. I can't go home. I don't have a home anymore. I don't even have a car. FUCK! It's dark out here. I can't see shit. If I leave now after only one day everybody is gonna think I'm such an idiot."
By now I'm speeding down the mountain. The idea of falling has become much better than getting eaten by the glowing eyes in the bushes. My brakes are soon forgotten. After about a half hour of these rants in my head interspersed with "HEYYYY! WAIT!!" I finally see the distant blue glow of Kipchoge's bicycle "down glow." I catch up to them and say "Thank you!" They were confused.
"For what?"
"For waiting," I said.
"Oh," Kipchoge answers, "We weren't waiting. Dante had some problems with his lights."
"Oh." And silence. "I was yelling for you guys to wait."
"Oh," and silence.
We got back on the bikes and I am all about keeping up with them at this point. I don't care if I fall. Bring it on! I don't care if I get a piece of gravel permanently lodged in my eyeball, I am not getting left out here in the dark alone EVER AGAIN!
Soon we reach the base, "Thank god, we've made it. Oh thank the lord. Thank you!" My hands are soar from leaning on the handle bars and my brain is wore out from freaking out. The three of us ride into camp (Jared and Brock are still nowhere to be found) and immediately everyone starts yelling and cheering. We stop in the center of the camp and people crowd around us, literally giving us a standing ovation. Nobody could believe that we actually biked down that path on mountain bikes in the middle of the night (it was midnight by the time we arrived). Kipchoge tells them all "This is her first time on a mountain bike and she made it down the mountain!" Everybody yells and screams and claps. Man did I feel good. This new sense of strength and coolness spread over my body like melted butter on a corn cob.
As the crowd dispersed I heard someone say "You don't even have to play music, you're already a bad ass!"
I think to myself, "Dude, THIS is awesome."
I felt like a bad ass.
Escaping mountain lions and facing the cold dark night alone was so worth it!
I was officially on the tour.
For good.
We set up our pedal powered stage and I played my set first. I only played four songs since we were literally four hours late. Everyone loved it. Of course they did. They were waisted. Still, it felt great to be appreciated.
After my set OBO went on. This guy is freakin awesome. He's this tall, lanky Irish American red headed dread headed hippy folk rock star with a read straw hat and Abe Lincoln beard who sings about special K while beat boxing these crazy little rhythms.
As he was doing his thing I went to take care of some very important business - food. Food. Food. Food.
Beep beep beep there it is. On that picnic table. I made a sandwich and sat down. A few people made their way over to me to give me their respects and what not. Soon a cute boy sat down next to me and we started bantering.
We talked about a lot of different things. How he's currently in law school, where we're each from, etc. He told me that this race was THE biggest Kayak race on the west coast. I joked around and asked him if he won.
He said with a very serious face, "Yes."
"Wow. Cool."
We proceeded to dance, take shots of tequila, make fun of each other, and all of the flirty things you do when you meet a cute one. At one point we were talking to another of the kayakers and my new friend slipped away for a minute. The "other guy" proceeded to tell me, "Dude, Charley is so humble but you have no idea, he is one of, if not THE top Kayaker in the world. He's even got his own clothing line."
At this point there's one word streaming through my alcohol ridden mind, "Hot."
An hour later we're making out by the river. "Hot." However, five minutes later Charley was passed out on the ground, beer still in hand.
"Well, that was fun. I think I'll make my way back up to the party."
The Ginger Ninjas were well into their late night set by now and everyone was dancing and having a great time. After they finished Jared and I decided to walk down to the river. We made our way down, stepping over Charley and making the usual comments of beauty and wonder. We sat on the rocks for awhile taking it in. Then we decided that we should definitely sleep down there. Thankfully at some point Charley woke up and made his way to some other spot. We went up and got our thermo rests and sleeping bags and made our beds in the sand. I think to myself, "This just keeps getting better. Sleeping under the stars, and now by a rushing river that is singing us to sleep. Ahhhh" a sigh of gratitude and peace.
Just then I heard a wrestling in the bushes and Kipchoge's voice yelling down at us, "Hey! Mayo is chasing skunks! Put him on a leash!"
"Haaaggghhhh," a sigh of "Fuck."
I get mayo and he smells like shit. Not only does he smell like shit, but I now have to sleep with him leashed to me and smelling like shit.
But still, if that's the worst thing I gotta deal with, I'll take it.
The next morning I woke up with a bottle of BBQ sauce in my face.
Kipchoge said, "Here, this'll get the skunk off of Mayo."
I put on my bathing suit and we go for a swim in the river. I bathed Mayo in BBQ sauce ("ok?") and myself not in BBQ sauce and we headed up the river bank to the main camping area. (No, the BBQ sauce doesn't work). Everyone was busy packing up and I thankfully manage to secure a ride up the mountain. There is no freakin way I'm ridin up that shit, HELL no!
I made it back to the bus long before everyone else and enjoyed some chill time napping on a blanket outside on the ground. Eventually everyone made it back and we spent most of the afternoon arranging the bus and waiting in the heat and dirtiness of dry northern California for Kipchoge to once again "fix the bus." We finally get going around three or so and make our way through beautiful Yosemite. And man is it beautiful.
I recommended that we stop at the next big hole of water and we did. I can't remember what the name of the lake was but it was awesome. We swam and cleaned the dirt and sweat from the afternoon's labor off. I have found that these types of experiences, involving cool water and no dirt on my skin, are crucial to my happiness and will have to be sought out daily whenever there are no showers within 400 miles. We spent the entire night and next day driving. Well, Kipchoge and Jared spent the entire night and next day driving. I spent the entire night and next day somewhere between sleeping and being jostled around by Milly to the point where my brain didn't know exactly what was happening anymore. Brock spent the entire night and next day somewhere between sleeping and tripping on "way too much" LSD. Yeah. That's Brock. Made for some great entertainment.
By the time we arrived in Denver it was probably 10 PM or so. I have no idea because all I did was lift my head as Jared slipped into the bus bed beside me and I asked, "Where are we?"
He said, "Denver."
I laid my head back down on my pillow and passed the * out.
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